What are we doing to our celebrities???

I don't remember what the magazine was that I was reading, Cosmo or US, I don't know.  But I was reading about Gwen Steffani.  This poor woman.  Do you know she won't step out of her house without makeup on?  Because she thinks she looks ugly without it?  I am sure she has seen the other magazines where people are torn apart because, OMG, they have no makeup on!  They are getting their mail and they have the nerve to set foot outside with no makeup on!  How dare they!  Don't they know that they are stars, not real people and they must have their makeup people on hand at all times and look ready for the camera always???  I hate this about out society.  Granted, I am guilty of getting the magazines to look at the celebs, but I think it's kind of nice to see them as real people.  Not these gorgeous perfect people.  Not everyone can have perfect skin, dammit.
But anyway, I digress.  The poor woman works out so much because she is so scared of gaining weight and what people will think of her.  I mean, yeah, look at her.  She's hot.  Who wouldn't be jealous of those abs?  But really, why is there so much pressure on these people to stay like that?  Why do celebrities get called out for looking like a normal person, told they can't have the role?  And then what happens?  They lose weight and everyone gets on them for being to skinny.  And then the poor celebrity goes up and down up and down so often that they die from the stress to their heart.  It's disgusting.  DISGUSTING. 
Who has seen pictures of Leeanne Rimes (however you spell her damn name) lately?  Her new hubby has turned her into a skeletion with fake boobs.  Awesome.  THAT'S attractive.  People tell her she's too chunky and turn around and tell her she needs to eat a burger the next week. 
Why is it that these magazine people get off on riding these people so hard?  No wonder they have mental break downs.  Who could take all that pressure??  It's quite sad.

Men. Menmenmenmenmenmen.

This has been bugging me for a while.  Have you ever noticed how everything is geared to men?  Everything.  Well, not everything everything, but most things.  Especially commercials.  Women's razor?  Men.  Some hot sexy lady half naked in a shower.  Shampoo.  Men.  Some woman having an orgasm in the shower.  Bra commercials.  Well, I am sure that one is obvious if you have ever seen a Victoria Secret commercial/ad/runway show.  Do they really think that women who are average in build and looks think they will look like Miranda Kerr if they where the same bra she is wearing?  I mean really.  That's completely lodgical.  And because the commercial is geared to men, and men think they are sexy, women wear these bras that pinch, and poke, and fall out of.  Don't get me wrong, I love a pretty bra.  But I don't need some anorexia chick with big ole boobs telling me what MY husband likes, and what I like.  And the catalog... I believe more men look at it than women..... But I CAN'T buy a bra from Victoria Secret.  I have tried several times.  But I can't do it.  They don't fit me right.  I have tried different sizes and different cuts.  I fall out of them.  They are meant to be worn by someone who sits still all day I guess.  Posing for magazine covers.  My husband got me a gift card fo VS one year.  It was for $100.00.  I bought 2 bras.  And as we have all seen, VS is all about showing boobs off.  And then your boobs roll out of the top of them and you have the quadruple boob.  The boob muffin top.  And that's not cute.  And it happens to me on a nearly every day. 
         I hate bras.  I hate buying them.  I hate trying them on.  And the bras that I can get that will most def hold me in, they are usually ugly.  They just don't make big bras cute.  Unless you want to pay 80 bucks for them.  No thanks. 
        Even men's razor commercials.  You would think that they could be at least geared to women.  Nope.  Sure, there's a guy with no shirt on fresh out of the shower.... but then a woman comes in who is nearly naked, with big boobs and starts humping his legs like a cocker spaniel.
        Sometimes the commercials are for the people they are for.  But for the most part they are filled with skinny sexy and skanky women and women who are not skinny, or sexy, or skanky, they think this is what they are supposed to look like.  They forget that these women are touched up, air brushed.  And shame on the men for expecting that (not all men, of course) from regular women.

       TV does it too.  Look at the King Of Queens.  Kevin James is not a small man.  He is not a sexy man (to most) and look at his wife.  She's pretty hot.  The George Lopez show.  He is an average looking man that you find all over America.  And look at his wife.  Hot.  I think the only exception is probably Everybody Loves Raymond.  It hasn't always been like that... but now.
Raising Hope-Hot Wife
My mind has drawn a blank.  Another exception would be Grey's Anatomy.  Everyone on that show is pretty.  But not average. 
Where are the average people??  Why can't we see average people on shows?  And not just shows like, The Bachelor, or American Idol. 
I don't get it.  My husband thinks I'm crazy when I bring it up.  Meh.  Crazy shmazy.

And the world goes round

I had a complete entry written out in my head yesterday.  And now I have forgotten.  So I will lead off with something I saw in a magazine the other day:

I think it is insane that stars are being bullied into losing weight.  Granted, they can listen, they can ignore, their weight is ultimately up to them.  But from what I have read, Mandy Moore has had a hard time getting good roles because she was too "chunky".  God forbid I ever end up in a tabloid magazine, they would think I was a cow.  They pick and pick and pick at these people when they look fine the way they are, and then pick and pick and pick and say they are too skiny.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I think that Mandy Moore is gorgeous and has never been FAT.  I would never have even said she was chunky!  And to know that she was getting all of that pressure to lose weight.  She was so healthy and beautiful.  I hate seeing all of these women go into the industry and be normal healthy sized people, and they end up stick figures who count every calorie and eat only 3 leaves of lettuce in a day, chased with laxatives. 
What kind of example are you setting for young girls?  That's why we have such a weight problem with young girls in America.  And it's killng them.  There is a healthy middle to be in.  I would probably be considered over weight, especially by Hollywoods standards, but in the standards of normal people, I don't think I would be.  But the problem is, not only do girls get the pressure from Hollywood to be thin, they get it from the young men who are also subjected to the toothpick women.  They think women should be thin thin thin with big ole fake boobs. They think we should bounce back from pregnancy 2 weeks after giving birth.  Hollywood is creating a stereotype for all woman that is NOT realistic and it needs to stop.  It's crazy.  It's deadly.  And it PISSES ME OFF.  Because I look at them too.  I am not above wishing I could look like Heidi Klum. Or Miranda Kerr.  Hollywood needs to let women look like themselves, like real women look.  The way we are supposed to look.  Something needs to change.  Before we all kill ourselves.

This is gross.  It's not attractive.


And people die from this.  And they shouldn't.  Our bodies need fuel to live.  And to fuel our bodies we need to eat.  WE.  NEED.  TO.  EAT.  TO.  LIVE. 

Pants Pants Pants

I hate washing my jeans.  I washed my size 9's and now I can't get them on.  I am sure it has NOTHING to do with the lack of running I have been doing... Nothing at all.  ;)

Clothes make me mad.  Why is it that only men can buy pants with length and width?  I would love to be able to buy my pants like that.   But instead I have to buy pants too big in the waist for me so that I can get them long enough.  Or I have to buy pants too big in the waist to fit my booty and thighs.  And I hate having to pick my pants up all the time.  Having squinches in my pants because I have to have my belt too tight.

Oh the hardships of being a woman.  **SIGH** 

I hate clothes.  Of course, I don't want to walk around nekkid either.  Lose lose. 
Damn.

Thanks!

I was talking to my co-worker this morning about fatness and all of that and do you know what she told me?  Of course not, so let me tell you.  She told me that she thought I had the body type like what they used to paint way back in the day.  You know, not fat, but with curves.  I was thrilled that she thought that.  Made my day.  Because I know I have the pudge, but it's not THAT bad. 
      We went to the gym today.  I used the eliptical machine.  Went 2 miles.  I hadn't done that in a while.  Got up a good sweat.  Felt good.  The stretching felt awesome.  I always feel good when I get a good sweat going and good stretching.  Did crunches too. 
     Why are we so hard on ourselves?  I think we create the problem in ourselves.  We need to start appreciating who we are and our bodies.  Flip the bird to the posters and magazines that you see filled with the 12 year old boys modeling women's clothing.  They are not attractive, in my eyes.  If life was just all about working out and never eating cake, well, I don't know about you, but I couldn't live like that.  NO cake?  What kind of life is that?  I know there are some people who can do it, not have anything bad for them, but I can't.  If I don't have something sweet every now and then (every day) I binge.  And then I feel like shit because I ate a whole cake.  Or whole box of ho-hos.  And then I want to puke.  So it won't all go to my ass.  No, I don't vomit.  Not intentionally anyway.  But the more I think about it, the more I can see how people become anorexic. 
    I used to have this issue that any friend I ever had, she always got the looks and the stares.  And the, "hey, how you doing?"  And not me.  Never me.  Only one person has ever done that to me and I ended up marrying him.  HAHA.  Not that I want men to stare or cat call or whistle, but every once and a while... I would hate it.... but love it... Does that make sense?  I have issues, I know. 
    Some days I feel really good about myself, and I feel pretty.  But most days, I don't.  Most days I feel....
I don't know.  It's like deep down inside I... I know what it is.  I feel like I am pretty, but I don't think other people think I am.  Why?  Because I don't look like Giselle?  Like Angelina Jolie?  They are all painted and polished.  I am real.  Nothing fake about me.
   And what difference does it make?  A friend asked me last night, how many people are you trying to sleep with?  And she made a good point.  Because I have a wonderful loving husband who loves me for who I am.  Every stretch mark (which he doesn't notice) all the wobbly bits (which he doesn't notice) all the spider veins (which, he doesn't notice).  I once pointed out how gross my flabby belly is, and he responded by coming up to me, grabbing my stomach and telling me "My child came from this belly, and I love it, flab and all".  I know, AWWW, right?  He loves me, and he wants me to know that he thinks I am sexy, no matter what.  I mean, he doesn't want me to weight 500 pounds or anything, but 160, it doesn't bother him like it bothers me.  And I honestly don't know where all the weight is.  It must be my boobs.  Because I just don't think I look like I weigh that weight.  I try not to stress too much about it.  I have a baby at home who causes enough (wonderful) stress for me.  I don't need anything else to worry about.  I just keep on keeping on and doing my thing.  Keep on trying to get healthy. 
For me.

"All things in nature that are beautiful are made up of CURVES"

Here we go!

          Hi!  This is not really my first blog, but it is the first one I think I am going to be willing to share with other people.  The idea for this has been rolling around in my brain for a while, I just think I didn't realize it was something to write about.  It may veer off course and talk about things completely off topic, but that's okay.  The idea really hit me last night when I was watching the biggest loser and this morning when I was getting dressed.  My little boy is about to turn 18months old.  And when I was pregant with him, the day before I went into labor I weighed 199 pounds.  I am 5'7.  I didn't think I looked fat when I saw myself then, but looking back, woah.  And then, watching the Biggest Loser last night, there were people who were 200 pounds and that got me to thinking, was I that big?  I know the height is a factor, but still.  And yes, I know I was pregnant and I lost a lt of that weight quickly, but STILL.  And this morning.  UGH.  Some days I simply hate getting dressed.  When I was in High School I was about a size 9.  Which was fine with me.  I have hips, and they aren't going anywhere.  I was never bothered.  And it didn't bother me that I could wear a size 14 after I had my baby, I knew it was my hips.  My mom and I have been busting our asses running and trying to get into shape to be able to run a 10K.  I got down into a size 9.  I hadn't worn those pants in quite some time.  Well, with the holidays, and the flu, and it being freakin COLD, we fell out of the habit.  (Why is it that it's so much easier to lose a habit than to make one?  It's not fair.) And I tried to put on my jeans this morning.... no go.  I was BUMMED.  I know my thighs are a bit big, not huge, but you know, I have thighs.  And that's okay.  But it's really frustrating when I can fit in the waist of pants, but not th legs.  Anyway, this was not the issue.  I was putting weight back on.  I went to inspect my jelly fat in the mirror (as we all do).  I have been trying to get back into the habit of sucking my stomach in at all times.  I used to do it in high school and stopped when I got pregnant because I wanted everyone to see my belly.  Well, now I need to get back into THAT habit.  When mom and I were running, I couldn't push my belly out too far, and now, EW.
         I am so disappointed in myself.  I feel like I am back tracking so quickly and it SUCKS.  So, I went and found my "mom jeans" which hit me around my belly button.  They have the "slimming effect" in them.  Which is great, but I HATE that I have to wear them.  And I even had a bit of an issue getting them on!!  Some days I can see why people would become anorexic.  So I pinch and I poke and pull and shake at my fat.  And it's gross.  And I hate it.
        Now.  The American Dream.  Why is it that women seem to think we have to be a certain size in order to be beautiful?  Why do we think we have to weigh the same as a paper bag in order to be attractive?  My husband tells me all the time how sexy he thinks I am, and I blow him off.  He couldn't think THIS *grabbing the fat roll* is sexy.  EW!  Yeah right!  Why do we all feel this way?  I know, I know, not everyone feels like that.  There are some women who feel beautiful and sexy and gorgeous all the time.  But I think a lot of that is for show.  I can talk the talk to.  I can tell you how women are supposed to be soft curvy and a place to grow babies.  But in the end, I want the flat belly too.  Why do we pick ourselves apart?  Men feel lucky to be in the room with a naked woman, cellulite and all.  There are just a few, the exceptions, not the rule, who think women should be sculpted statues.  And those men are bastards. 
      I like my ears.  I love them.  A lot of people hate their ears.  They stick out, they are big, they are small.  Whatever.  But I love mine.  I think they are cute.
      I like my eyes.  I wish they were bluer, one of those extraordinary colors, but I like them like they are.  And they have good shape.
      I like the skin on my face.  I am good to it, and it is good to me.  I wasn't plagued with acne in school.
      I like my freckles.  I think they are cute and I have never understood why some people cover them up.
      I love my hair.  It used to be really long.  REALLY.  My hair was down to my butt.  And it was lovely.  I used to hate it, but when I got into high school it changed (my hair, I don't know why) and I loved it.  And then I wacked it all off when I was a senior. And it has just gotten shorter and shorter.  And I love it.  It's fun.  I can't just throw in into a pony tail, I have to DO it. 
Do I think I am pretty?  Meh.  Sometimes.
     I hate:  my neck, my arms, my boobs, my tummy, my thighs, my spider veins, my hips, my legs, my feet. 
What is wrong with us?  Look at European women?  What are we as American's doing wrong?  I'll tell you what.  We have people like Kate Moss as "role models",  These teeny tiny sticks that have no body.  Men don't think they are attractive... well, I am sure SOME men do, but not most.
So why can't we be comftorable with who we are?  Why can't we say
                    "TO HELL WITH YOU, VOGUE MAGAZINE!  I HAVE HIPS.  I HAVE
                     THIGHS.  I HAVE CURVES AND I LOVE THEM.  SO UP YOURS
                     WITH YOUR TWIG-ISH MODELS AND THEIR DOUBLE ZERO JEANS!"



       Do I have anything against women who have the body I would like to have?  NO.  Am I jealous?  Sure.  Do I stare at them and disect how much better I would look with her thighs, her flat tummy?  Absolutely. 
      I am not saying I don't want to get in shape.  Because I do.  But I want to do it for ME.  No one else.  ME and my self confidence.  I want to know that it's okay for me to have a little pooch.  That doesn't make me unattractive.  But working in the school system, it gets hard.  These boys, and I know, I know, they are stupid and what they think doesn't matter, but these boys have this ideal set in their minds that women should look like... Lindsay Lohan.  I was asked several times if I was pregnant after I gave birth, where I proceeded in ripping this young man a new one.  I was so mad at him for thinking I was supposed to get back down to my previous size in a few months.  ACK.
I was told by a co-worker that she didn't feel comftorable with herself and who she was, how she looks, until she hit her forties.  WHAT?  Why does it have to take half of your life to love yourself?  So, this blog will also be my effort to love myself, for who I am, how I look.
A local calligrapher comes into our classroom to teach our men how to write cursive.  He said something today that I loved.

"When you look in nature, the things that are beautiful are made up of CURVES."
Hell Yeah Nick.